FAIL

I just have not been able to do it. I am so unmotivated. Every time that I think that I am….I fail. Am I TRYING to fail? I do not know. Am I afraid of success? I do not know. I DO want to lose the weight I know that, but I have to wonder if I am mentally holding myself back. I am working on a change in mindset. I weighed this am and am back up to 188. I was down to 185.2. My lowest was 184. I understand that is not horrible. I feel like I am sabotaging myself. I have had A LOT of stressful times recently, and in my life I turn to food. I know that many other people can relate to this. It tastes good and feels good eating it. I can always justify and tell myself I can “re-start” tomorrow. I am trying to remember how it was when I was really motivated and how I can get that back. I DO know that it is a mind-set. I feel like it is a cop-out to not just do it. I am addicted to food. I am a junkie…

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